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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25205434">Feelings Cannot Be Denied</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kateis_Cakeis/pseuds/Kateis_Cakeis'>Kateis_Cakeis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Victor (TV 2020), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Communication, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, yes they do actually communicate :o</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:33:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25205434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kateis_Cakeis/pseuds/Kateis_Cakeis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor and Benji talk after their kiss in the motel.</p><p>Maybe something good would come out of it, after all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>212</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Feelings Cannot Be Denied</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door opened, and Benji poked his head out, frowning at Victor. “Come back inside, please…? We need to talk.”</p><p>Victor looked to Benji with wide eyes, tears still running down his cheeks. But he wiped them away and stood, following Benji back into the room. He closed the door behind them, and they both stood awkwardly for a second before Benji moved away, turning the light back on.</p><p>He sat on the bed, legs crossed, eyeing Victor, head slightly tilted. “Are you bi…? Pan?”</p><p>Victor leant back against the dresser. “I thought I–” He looked down. “I’ve been questioning for a while. I thought I could make things work with Mia but…” He scrunched his eyes shut. “Kissing her is just kissing, but kissing <em>you</em>?” He opened his eyes. “I– I can’t keep denying what is true.”</p><p>Benji nodded, but it was curt and stiff. His eyes, however, were soft with understanding. “You’re gay.”</p><p>“I, think so.”</p><p>“So… kissing me was your breaking point? Because, Victor, that’s unfair on me. I have a <em>boyfriend</em>.”</p><p>“I know and I am <em>so </em>sorry.” Victor twisted his mouth, his eyes darting away. He could tell him more, the full truth, but he…</p><p>“Okay, don’t do your ‘holding information back’ face, you only do that for customers…”</p><p>Victor sighed. Why did Benji have to know all his tells? He… couldn’t get out of this, could he? “It wasn’t just me reaching my… breaking point.” He breathed in, deeply. “I like you, <em>really </em>like you.”</p><p>Benji went still, his fiddling hands stopped. His eyes were set on Victor. Shock was within them… maybe? He didn’t know if it <em>was </em>shock, he couldn’t really read him right now.</p><p>“If I have to be truthful with you,” Victor said, “please be truthful with me.”</p><p>Benji raised his eyebrows, like he had been shocked out of his thoughts. He tugged at the covers, drawing a breath in. “I have a crush on you, which was manageable when I thought you were straight. But you’re… I <em>really </em>like you too.”</p><p>Victor felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment, his stomach flaring with– something? Intense butterflies maybe? “You… Why?”</p><p>Benji bit at his lips. “You make me feel like it’s okay to be myself.”</p><p>Victor scrunched up his face. That didn’t make sense… “And Derek doesn’t?”</p><p>“Our anniversary date…” Benji murmured, looking anywhere but at Victor. Eventually he stared at the ceiling. “It did not go <em>fine</em>.”</p><p>Victor stayed silent, wondering if Benji would continue. He wasn’t sure any words would help right now.</p><p>To his surprise, he looked towards Victor. “He said anniversaries were heteronormative and that it’s used to sell cards to morons.” He sucked in a breath. “And he didn’t appreciate <em>any </em>of it. He left early and–” It looked as if his eyes were tearing up. “He makes me feel anxious.”</p><p>Victor chewed at his cheek, searching for the right words to say. “You want to make it work for him because everything would be okay if that <em>one </em>thing works out?” he asked, because he knew that, understood that.</p><p>Benji nodded slowly, tears so clear in his eyes. Victor wanted to bundle him up and just hold him. “Yeah…”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“What now…?”</p><p>Victor was surprised Benji was asking that question and not him. While a small part of him still wanted to make it work with Mia, he couldn’t do that anymore. All of that was gone, the ship had sailed and sunk. No, he knew what was right now. He was… gay. Entirely gay.</p><p>“I don’t know, Benji. I think you need to ask yourself that.” Victor shrugged and stared at the nasty carpet. “I know what I need to do next.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Break up with Mia and stop lying to myself.”</p><p>“That sounds like a… good plan.” Benji smiled slightly. “You deserve to be yourself and live as who you are.”</p><p>Victor’s shoulders slumped, the tension draining from them. “I needed to hear that.”</p><p>Benji nodded, swallowing thickly. “So… you like me, and I like you.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>He toyed with the covers again, then his hands. Victor had never seen Benji so nervous. “What if I want to be with you?”</p><p>“But, what about De–”</p><p>“Victor.” Benji had a determined look in his eye. “What if… like your shoes, it’s meant to be? I…” He huffed. “I felt connected to you in the first moment I saw you. And I– I lied about the applications.”</p><p>Victor furrowed his brow. What could he have possibly lied about?</p><p>“There were others to interview but you were there with your stupidly cute face and your dumb and flustered words, and you messed up, but I was staring at you too– and– Victor– <em>I kissed you back</em>. I. That’s. I didn’t realise how wrong things were with Derek until you came into my life. You’ve showed me that I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not with someone I care about.”</p><p>Victor felt the overwhelming urge to kiss Benji until he felt like he was appreciated for being him, and had the chance to be loved <em>for </em>being himself.</p><p>“Benji, I, you need to know that I–” He looked away, picking at the loose thread on his top. “The machine was ready today and I didn’t want to stop spending time with you, so I lied– I lied and I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“You… lied to spend more time with me?”</p><p>Victor nodded, a little ashamed. “You smiled at me and then suddenly we were staying the night.”</p><p>“Oh…” A smile crept onto Benji’s lips, which was the exact opposite reaction he was expecting. “No one has ever gone to such great lengths to spend time with me.”</p><p>Victor smiled, shaking his head. “That was not the reaction I was expecting.”</p><p>Benji shrugged. “If it’s more time with you…” He sighed. “I can’t deny that you wanting to spend time with me… warms me? And I– I can’t deny my feelings anymore.”</p><p>“And I can’t deny what I feel either… or that I’m… gay.”</p><p>Benji smiled slightly, his eyes twinkling. “Is that the first time you’ve said that aloud, to yourself?”</p><p>Victor smiled, nodding slowly. “Yeah, yeah it is.” His smile grew now, and he looked at Benji with nothing but the idea of being happy in his mind. “I’m <em>gay</em>. And I… hate it, but I don’t?”</p><p>“That is <em>such </em>a working yourself out mood.” Benji broke out in a grin. “Come on, we should sleep.” He patted the space next to him, where Victor had been sitting a million lifetimes ago. Or, at least, it felt like that much time had passed.</p><p>Victor slowly walked over to the bed, sitting upon it with small movements. Benji smiled endearingly at him, and shuffled closer, hands reaching out to grasp Victor’s, holding them in his own. His eyes were so sincere, and Victor wished he could kiss him again, but they were both in relationships and it sucked and god, why did it have to be so complicated and so hard?</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, <em>all of it</em>,” Benji said. He frowned slightly. “I’ve seen how your family are, but <em>hopefully</em>, when you’re ready and talk to them about it, everything will go smoothly. And Felix, he will be so chill when you come out to him. Mia will be harder, I’m sure, but you don’t have to do it all at once. You can break up with her first, then tell her, if that’s what you prefer. You will be okay, Victor. And you will end up being <em>so gay</em>.” He grinned. “The more comfortable you become, the gayer you get.”</p><p>Victor smiled, tilting his head. “<em>Really</em>?”</p><p>“Really.” Benji squeezed his hands. “And I meant what I said. I like you, Victor. If you want, we can… give this a try.”</p><p>Victor untangled his left hand and reached over to brush Benji’s hair back. “Will you be okay… breaking up with Derek?”</p><p>“It will hurt, I know that… but I won’t miss him.” He breathed deeply. “I’d miss you more if I walked away from whatever <em>this </em>is.”</p><p>“Okay.” Victor blew out a breath. “Okay.”</p><p>Benji smiled, moving forward to kiss Victor on the cheek. It was so soft and gentle and… it felt so natural and normal. Victor could get used to that <em>very </em>quickly.</p><p>“Let’s sleep,” Benji said. “We can talk more in the morning.”</p><p>Victor smiled and nodded, and they both slipped under the covers. Benji turned the light off again, and this time, they turned towards each other with smiles on their lips. Victor could just about see Benji in the dark now, and he was so vibrant, so… So Benji really. He couldn’t wait for what would come next, with him and Benji. And although he had a lot to do, in the near future, a lot of people to tell the truth to, he had Benji and that was enough.</p><p>“Goodnight,” he whispered.</p><p>Benji smiled more. “Night, Victor.”</p><p>Victor didn’t want to close his eyes, didn’t want this day to end now that everything had been resolved, but sleep clawed at his eyes, and they slipped shut. For the first time in a long time, he fell asleep smiling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come talk to me on <a href="https://kateis-cakeis.tumblr.com/">tumblr! :D</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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